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हामी कति निराशातीर जादैछौ भनेर अब हामीलाई कसैले भन्नु नपर्ला जस्तो लाग्छ । एउटा सामान्य नागरिक जो बिहानदेखि बेलुकासँग हातमुख जोर्न संघर्ष गरिरहेको हुन्छ, एउटा मध्यमबर्गिय परिवार जसोतसो समाजमा इज्जतिलो जिन्दगी जिउन चाहिरेको हुन्छ र उच्चबर्ग जसलाई निम्न र तल्लो बर्गिय समाजमा के हुदैछ कुनै चासो छैन, न त चासो लिने ध्याउन्न नै । सबै बर्ग आज खशि छैन । निराशा धेरै छ । अत्यास बढ्दो छ । कारणहरु थुप्र्रै हुनसक्छन् । त्यसमध्ये केही यहाँ चर्चा गरौ । एकजना मित्रले केही दिन पहिले फेसबुकमा आफ्नो स्टाटस् सन्देश लेखे, यो देशमा अब शहरीया र गाउँलेको दुरी अकास्सिन्छ? धनि र गरिवको खाडल झनै फराकिलो र गरिहो पनि हुन्छ । उच्च बर्ग आकासिन्छ? सबभन्दा गरिवहरु अझै भाँसिन्छन्, मध्यम बर्ग न तल झर्छ न माथि नै उक्लन्छ, उ एउटा भ्रममा दुवैतिरको नभै जिन्दगी जिउछ जुन जिन्दगीको न उसलाई आवश्यकता छ, न त अरुलाई त्यसको महत्व बुझाउन नै सक्छ । मेरा मित्र एउटा सामान्य नागरिक हुन् । तत्लो बर्गिय मध्यमबर्गलाई प्रतिनिधत्व गर्छन् । उनी एउटा सामाजिक सवाल र संचारलाई बिषयबस्तु बनाएर काम गर्ने संस्थाको कनिष्ठ कर्मचारी हुन् । काठमाण्डौभन्दा तथाकथित मोफसलमा बस्छन् । राजनीतिक पृष्ठभुमिले ओतप्रोत वातावरणमा हुर्केका भएपनि मित्र राजनीति गर्दैनन् । समग्रमा भन्दा उनलाई राजनीतिभन्दा पनि त्यही जागिर जोगाउनुछ, जसका लागि उनी मनमा जस्तासुकै बिचार आएपनि संस्थाको तटस्थता नितीको पालना गर्छन्, खुलेर राजनीति गर्दैनन् । तर उनले फेसबुकमा जे लेखे, त्यसलाई पटक पटक पढ्न मनलाग्यो । धेरै पटक पढेपछि मैले त्यो कुरालाई हुवहुँ कपी गरेर मेरैमा राखुजस्तो लाग्यो, तर मन पर्यो मात्र भन्नु उत्तम ठाने मैले । किनभने उनको तर्कमा तागत छ जस्तो लाग्यो । उनले बर्तमान परिस्थितीलाई गहन अध्ययन गरेर भविष्यको संकेत गरेका छन्, जुन कुनै समाजशास्त्रिले गर्ने चिन्तनभन्दा फरक हैन जस्तो लाग्यो मलाई । उनको अभिव्यक्तिमा आशा हैन निराशाको झिल्को दन्किएको छ । उनी कतै कुनै पनि यस्तो ठाउँ देख्दैनन् जसले उनलाई केही राम्रो हुदैछ भन्ने ढाडस दिओस् । उनले मात्र किन यस्तो सोचे, कतै म पनि यस्तै सोचिरहेको छु तर भन्न पो सकिरहेको पो छैन की? अहिले भैरहेको निराशाजन्य परिस्थितीमा हामीले देखेका, सुनेका, भोगेको तमाम यथार्थपरक घटनाले यस्तै भन्छ हामी आशाबादी हुन छोड्यौ । शंकालु धेरै, अविश्वासी अति, निरास । किनभने हामीले अहिले पढिरहेका शब्दहरु केलाउँ, हेरिरहेका दृष्यहरु पछ्याउ् । सुनिरहेका कुराहरु सम्झौ ।
बिहानै सबभन्दा पहिले सुन्ने समाचारमा हामी सुन्छौ कुरा मिलेन, निष्कर्ष बिहीन, खिचातानी, विवाद, झगडा, मृत्यु, मृत्युदर बढ्दो, मुल्य बढ्दो, आकाशियो, धर्ना, जुलुस, बन्द, हड्ताल, घाटा, सिमा अतिक्रमण, उनीहरु जिम्मेवार हामी चोखा, दोषी, आरोप, आदी । यी मध्ये केही शब्दहरु सकारात्मक रुपमा प्रयोग हुन्छन् । तर हामीकहाँ अहिले नकारात्मक रुपमा प्रयोग हुन्छन् । अनि हामी सबैभन्दा पहिले सुन्छौ यस्तै शब्द र शुरु हुन्छ हाम्रो दिन । अघिल्लोदिन १९ रुपैयाँमा किनेको दुध भोलिपल्ट बिहान २० रुपैयाँ हुन्छ । दाँत किटेर पैसा तिर्नुबाहेक हामीसँग किन भनेर प्रश्न गर्ने क्षमता हराएको छ । आज १० रुपैयामा पाइने आलु भोली ४० रुपैया हुदाँ पनि हामी खान बाध्य छौ । हामी सोध्छौ त्यो भैया व्यापारिलाई जसले आफै भाडा बढाएको हुदैन । जतासुकै महंगी बढीरहेको अवस्थामा केही कुराको दाम घट्यो भने हामी पत्याउनै छोड्यौ । राम्रो जोक हुनसक्छ यस्तो कुरा । राजनीतिमा पनि त्यस्तै । कतै मिलेको, सहकार्यको राम्रो उदाहरण छैन । आरोप प्रत्यारोप, अविश्वास, छेड हानाहान् । आर्थिक अवस्था सुधारउन्मुख छैन । ए बाबा, यो चाँही राम्रो भनेर हामीले भन्ने ठाउँ नै छैन अहिले । जतासुुकै नराम्रो, जतासुकै खराव । अनि यस्तो बेलामा हामी कसरी आशाबादी हुने त? के चाहेर मात्र भइन्छ आशाबादी? आशाबादी हुनका लागि निराशाबादी व्यवहार, घटनाहरु यो समाजमा कम भएभने मात्र हामी आशोन्मुख जिन्दगी जिउन सक्छौ, हैन भने सधै निराशोन्मुख, अनि मेरा मित्रले फेसबुकमा भनेको कुरा सहि हैन भनेर पत्याउने आधार पनि छैन आजको दिनमा यसो घोत्लिँदा ।

POLITICS – no more words from leaders please! How pity we are? Time and again, we are misled by our political leaders. It's been for many years our fate is relied on to them. But what they did is just nothing than they proved to politics is dirty game. It seems that leaders know what politics is but they even don't how to do the politics. Our fate is considered for them just a football for which it have been throwing, and keeping it away from their control, losing us and them as well by acting in way citizen are just stupid, and they think themselves as cleverer than anyone else. May 28, 2010 is remembered as a black day in our history, however, leaders were proved them to be able to cultivate rays of hope by making consensus but it will be taken just as a consensus unless new schedule for CA is taken place. Still quarreling it's been for week though, and no positive symptoms can be seen that situation is getting better. How should we take them in our heart that they are our leaders.

This is almost 7 pm. Time to go home. I can just remember how desperately my son is waiting me would be. He usually identify the sound my bike makes, and opens door. He is getting older, clever and clever. He is honest than before. Try hard to persuade me and his mom. Yes, I should go. I have to go. Kabita was calling me why haven't I called her today? Nothing than just my busy schedule contributed for that. Anyway, she might have prepared food for me. I have to switch my laptop off. It seems that Jiwan still wants to talk to me. There are more friends online. Saying hello, Namaste, how are you, so and so. having chats with them is just a fun. No face book now. So I have not been followed what is my status. I haven't followed others as well. However, I love to do that. Reading other's status give me more fun than posting my words, photos and texts. Thanks Facebook. No twitter. Twit.. yes, I have a lot of things to twit..but thinking why should I do the same? everyone knows what is happening with my country, it has not been hidden anything. no trust, no mercy, no ….no …. and no… not good and positive things. Frustrating word. I have just said fried bye. Now I am leaving.

I AM TOTALLY BLANK TODAY AS I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE AREA OF POLITICAL DEVELOPMENT TODAY IN THE COUNTRY.
My day started with a cup of tea, and with good morning kiss of my wife. My son gave me good morning hug with his usual smiling face. I then, went to college to meet my thesis supervisor seeking his input on the paper submitted. It has been long gap I have met college friends but today I did. Arun and Shusila have come to college for the same purpose. I realized that completing thesis is not easy job as I expected to be. It's time taking job. It's been whole year I completed my master in mass communication and journalism from Purbanchal University, however I am struggling hard to complete thesis. Anyway, I can get it done within one month from now. Say, I will be there standing in front of veteran professor facing their question on my topic and might be on finding I discovered through doing thesis, which is on last day.
Anyway, recalling what I have done today is fairly good work, and it is somehow exercise of mind that I think. Before noon, I was in a meeting with JSSR partner organization. It went on well. Then come back to office. It was not in my schedule that I should go to lunch with Gemma, but I realized that I need to go since the person who wanted to join Gemma in lunch went out for another deadline. Actually, it was good time I spent in meeting Gemma and had few discussion about professional and personal work. Later, few more people from office came to join us. Momo was not bad, and pasta as well. Gemma requested me her to ride to Summit as she wanted to take her stuff before meeting is started. Staff meeting was there but no specific issues was being discussed besides administrative procedures. It went on long since a lot of questions have been raised. I was not feeling easy at work today but why, I don't know. It might be there was no reason, but might be it was reasoned. Call to Toya, met him and then we met Pawan Roy, chair of Youth Action Nepal.
Informal discussion with two plates of momo, a glass of fresh-lemon –soda, and coffee, yes hot and sour soup, political talk, everything was going on wonderfully. As Pawan ji is going to visit US coming Friday we discussed about trip, his activities. I returned home with a plate of momo but found son was already slept, which made me unhappy as I want to spend my few time with him during the morning and evening. Time is going on, I am still feeling not happy but why I don't know.

It's been complete nine (9) years king Birendra passed away. I am remembering the day curfew was imposed in valley –angry policeman was running behind a boy, chasing him on the street Maitidevi. Scared boy entered in to the home where I was leaving in rent. Frightened by found no other way than entering in to toilet thinking there is no other safe mean to save him from police stick and boot. Angry police personnel saw him going toward the same home but could not spot where they boy is hiding. Police knocked on the every door, all door got opened but police didn't see one door opening, and which led him to think that boy is hiding himself within that room. Police continued knock on till he decided to get that door broken. But found nothing that kitchen stuff and my personal clothes in the room inside the room. Luckily police didn't see the toilet where the boy was scarily hiding himself. One eyewitness told me the detail account of information behind the door of my room was broken when I returned to home next day. Everything has happened when I was not in room. That night I was gone to Radio Sagarmatha with friend Deepedra Khaniya, and it went on difficult for me to get back room since curfew was imposed in the street, no one could walk in the street. Curfew was imposed just because people were come to the street, they were in a mood that nobody seemed like they were ready to accept the causes presented behind the killing of then king Birendra and his family. Yes, it was a royal massacre but nothing was come to public that why it was being happened. People were listening radio but FMs were just playing nothing than sad music. No news in newspaper, everything was coming person to person but more rumor than facts. Despite king interest of being active participant in politics king Birendra was popular among citizen that we loved his cheerful face, politeness, and he had also accepted the mandate of people movement and took decision to keep him in low profile in political activities. Now, it's been 9 years he passed away. Many things have happened within this period of time, monarchy is no longer in existence, king's family is living their life as general citizen live but still we have a lot of love to our past king, Birendra.